So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
