Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
