I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
