I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I just want nice things and good sex
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
