My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize