and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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