we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
