i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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