She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
