eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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