STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Randomize
