i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
