its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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