she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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