My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
