she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
