Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
