My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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