woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
