I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
