so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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