you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize