Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
