end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
