we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize