she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize