And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
