I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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