Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize