i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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