I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I'm passing your future prison.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
