that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
