i can't believe i had my finger in that
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
how drunk are you?
Several
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
