i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
