My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
