Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
