Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
