there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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