Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
