Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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