he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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