he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
