Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
