You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
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