Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
