I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
