Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
