Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
