Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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