Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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