I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
