Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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