Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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