dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
