White coat. Heels.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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