He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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