she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
